I Am Not "The Captain of my Soul" By: Tom Russell
INVICTUS by William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods maybe
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley exemplified the unconquerable hero of his poem. 
In spite of extreme health issues throughout his life and the loss of a young daughter (She was the inspiration for Wendy in J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan.) Henley drove through life like a steam engine, however, in any realistic discourse the fragility of life is unavoidable and so the poem speaks of absolute confidence which is, ironically, dominated by circumstance. We see the poem’s hero unafraid of the horrors of the shade though his scroll is charged with punishments. There is no faith or forgiveness mentioned that makes him “unafraid”, rather his disregard of the “horror” and “punishments” is because, in effect, he chose his life and destiny. His faith, as expressed in, “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul” is delusional as his true “master” and “captain” are the unavoidable passing of time and the coming judgment. The comforting words of bravado are a confession of insufficiency and obedience to fate.
Strength and resolve, properly held, are wonderful attributes, but in truth, none of us are sufficient to make our way in life apart from the guidance of God. Jeremiah confessed this truth when he said, “I know, O Lord, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps.” (Jer. 10:23), and so God blessed us with a moral law imprinted on our hearts and found in His word. (Romans 2:15)
When we rebel against this law we are without God and become lost in the waves of want and circumstance. One who seeks to be master of his fate and captain of his soul inevitably becomes enslaved to his desires and “Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. (James 1:14-15) “How charged with punishment the scroll”
We have all tried this life of self-will “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). The good and the honest do not blithely ignore these failures with “head bloody, but unbowed”. Moral failure is not something we are proud of, rather we recognize the failure as proof of our insufficiency.
Today my little grandson became frightened and needed his grandfather. In my arms he was safe and unbeknownst to him he was protected from much greater and more ferocious things than the noise that had frightened him. So too, we only find true safety in life through acceptance of the reality that we never outgrow the need for our Father’s mighty arms and guiding hand.
Confidence in the face of death and judgment is a wonderful thing but only if it is born of faith that is proven in loving obedience to God. Thankfully salvation and confidence are not dependent upon perfect obedience for we have all failed that standard. Thank God for the opportunity of repentance and the willingness of the perfect Son to pay the price we could not pay.
TRUE INVICTUS (by Tom Russell, with apologies to W. E. Henley)
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank the God who is
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have winced cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
In Christ, I am bloody but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
I am forgiven the punishments in the scroll,
For Christ is the master of my fate,
and the captain of my soul.